if you’re favorite character on House isn’t House himself, you are fucking awful. House is a troll Master, half the time House ain’t care, the other half He spends his time hunting lupus.
the ping to Houses Pong, the Jelly to his Peanut butter. Wilson rules and you best respect it.
3. thirteens bisexuality
Olivia Wilde kissing women ranks comically high. Thirteens boring as shit, but bisexual Olivia Wilde? GOLD!
4. Steelers coach Mike tomlin/Foreman
whether He’s stopping Ben Roethlisberger from raping or solving the patient of the weeks ailment, Mike Tomlin/Foreman is always good. Motherfucker is cool as ice.
5. the Aussie guy
He killed James Earl Jones. you don’t fuck with JEJ and crack my top 4.
Earns points for being hot, loses them for making me want to punt her whenever she gets too compassionate. I’m watching house to watch House dick with people, not get ethics lessons, lady.
Loses points for killing himself for no reason. also for not making any funny jokes about pot.
Cuddy is boring and tries to ruin houses fun. fuck that shit, I want House to screw with people MORE.
Taub sucks. taub is worse than poison. I don’t care about your failing marriage, you ugly bald midget.